just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize