I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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