I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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