Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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