my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
