Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
