I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
