What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
