hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
