? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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