So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
