Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
