I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
