Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
