do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He? As in you personified your dick?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
