Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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