all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
