But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Even my vagina gasped.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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