Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
