Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
