Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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