I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
