i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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