you guys were way drunker than both of me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm always down for nudity.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
