We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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