I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
