apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
