We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
