Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
