At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
