I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
