I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've blown a few things in my day
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
