HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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