I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
