You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize