me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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