why didn't you poke me back
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
