i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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