PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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