I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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