dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i've created a new STD.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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