I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
