I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
