we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
