i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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