I accidentally burped into my bong.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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