When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
