The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
