even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
