So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
