I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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