I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
