Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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