There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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