I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
