If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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