I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
