Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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