Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
