Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
