Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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