3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How naked do you want me to be?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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