Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
