Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
