his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
