do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
