She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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