You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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