Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
