Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
