Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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