My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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