That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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