Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dont even know how to be here
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
