Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize